Diary+Entry+4+_JH

Date: 6th August 1945 Weather: dry and cloudy... can't tell much... Time: 5:21 pm

Dear Diary,

I must be dreaming... I must be having the world’s worst nightmare... Wake up, Haruhi, wake up... I kept on slapping myself and pinching myself, but every time I open my eyes, I am in the same place and every time I look around this place, I am shocked by the reality. This cannot be happening. It can’t be reality.

It was only two days ago when I hugged both of my sons good-bye to go just out of the city to see my sister. They looked at me with huge eyes, watering. They begged me not to go, but I had to go see my sister and ask for a loan. After all, when my eldest son returns, I need to be able to support him while he gets a job. My two sons were to be taken care of my neighbor. My neighbor has a daughter, about 13 years old, who is a runner. Her dream was to become a professional marathoner. It was all so beautiful, my life, my children, dreams...

After talking with my sister and she and I negotiated, we came to an agreement. And it was just before I was about to depart back home when I heard the siren go. They were coming. Americans were very near. My mind went blank and.. I don't know. I ran like crazy towards my town. My children were in there right now. I had to protect them! I fell and rolled and was bruised all over. The moment I tripped over a huge stone, and my knees ripped, I heard the loudest noise in the world. I thought it was a volcano for a second. When I looked up, I could see huge area of thick smoke slowly elevating towards the clouds; and the place the smoke was coming from was where my path back home led to; Hiroshima. I stood there, in awe, and... I don’t know, dear diary. I don’t remember how I felt then. I couldn’t see anything in front of me. I couldn’t feel anything nor hear anything. I could not move at all.

I can still feel the warmth of my children’s cheek on my hand and I feel as if the kiss they gave me on my cheek is still there. I feel like they will both appear out of nowhere and run to me, grinning wide. I feel like my youngest son’s sweet voice and my second son’s loud and high-pitched voice are ringing in my ear. No no no no no no no... this is not happening... God, have mercy...

I now am searching for my sons with huge tears dropping. My voice is cracking now from calling their names so much. We were able to found my neighbor’s daughter, who was at school, training, which was quite far from where the so-called “atomic bomb” was dropped. She did get injured though. Her right leg is seriously injured and it doesn’t seem like it’s easily curable. I am sure it’s next to impossible for her to run again. All of our hopes, family, friends, love and dreams......all gone.

I hoped and hoped and hoped my sons will shout “Mama” and just appear out of nowhere. I refuse to believe this is reality. Help me...