Deborah+K.+Even+more+awesome+interview

ORAL INTERVIEW by Deborah K.

AN INTERVIEW WITH MY GRANDMOTHER


 * RELEASE FORM **

In view of the historical value of this oral history interview, I **__Byun Gil-Sun__** knowingly and voluntarily permit **__Deborah Kim from KIS__** the full use of this information for educational purposes.

Date __June 1, 2010__

My name is Byun Gil-Sun (변길선) and I am 80 years old right now. I was born in Yangpyeong (양평), it is near Seoul not far from your sister's school. [My sister goes to Yonsei so she was referring to that]. I was married to your grandpa at the age of 27, and I studied in Japanese during Primary school because of the Japanese occupation, so I know Japanese well. I had to study Korean on my own after I married because I did not know much. When I was young women were not supposed to be educated so my mother would not send me to Seoul where I could have received more education. So I only graduated Primary School. I was about 20 something; it was before I married your Grandfather. I was just working at home, like helping out household works because women did not work outside of the house back then. My family was actually quite wealthy and had a plentiful life before the war. However, after the war happened, my family was impacted greatly. Our whole family was forced to flee further south and take refuge. We lost most of our wealth and became very poor. In order to make a living I had to sow at a factory where most of the things I made were blankets for the soldiers or Mom-bae pants (몸배바지) that I sold out at the market. My younger siblings also worked hard like shining shoes just to earn the most minimum wage in order to obtain some food for our family. I remember very clearly how I felt. I felt extremely terrified and was so scared. Everyday of my life I lived in fear and terror. We were a wealthy family so people from the communist party (공산당) would take my father and brutally beat him up for being rich and called him a 'bourgeois' and disapproved of him for no reason. I remember him coming back home with bruises and cuts and wounds from torture and beatings. I felt so helpless in my situation especially because I was a young girl in my early twenties where I could not do anything. I remember hiding a lot because I was scared whenever the North Korean soldiers came close. Because women knew the danger of getting raped, many of the women including me wore mens' clothes and cut our hair short. Also, I would put soot on my face to hide female-like features and try my best to look like a man. I did not have a 'perspective' toward the war. I don't think I was mature enough to have an opinion about it. I was just constantly scared and lived in fear and just hoped it was all over and my family will be able to live in peace and safety. I don't really think I was influenced greatly but I just naturally created the image that the Reds (빨갱이) are bad because I saw how broken my family became because of them. The things they did were so evil and brutal and beyond what humans could do to other humans. I hated how the Reds could just invade our life out of nowhere and take away everything from me and my family. I just accepted the fact that the communist party were responsible for all the bad things happening. I think this was a natural process because we were wealthy and the followers of the communist party were the more poorer people. Just staying safe and keeping my family together I guess. I had five younger brothers to take care of and help my mother keep them protected from being sent to serve the military at such a young age. All of my family members worked hard to earn money in any way possible just to keep the food on the table. Everyday I would just hope that the Reds would not invade the area we were at. I don't really know how to answer this questions. I am really not sure, I think maybe your mother may be able to answer this question since she knows a lot about me and the Korean war as well. I think maybe Korea won't be divided into the South and North like it is now.... [So I asked my mother: If the Korea War did not happen, then Korea probably won't be divided into two like now. However, then there will be tensions between the powers that still exist in the nation and I don't think Korea would have developed as much as it did now. **Why?** Because the two different powers will not agree with each other and if there are conflicts such as those a nation cannot develop well.] I did not receive proper education like what you guys receive now. I only received education up to primary school level and that was all in Japanese because that was the time of Japanese annexation. Like I said before, women were not supposed to be educated but were expected to be intelligent and smart. I knew that I would be able to learn more in Seoul where more proper schools are. But when I entered my teen years my mother would not let me go to Middle school and made me stay at home where more help was needed with my younger siblings. I had to wash the dishes, wash clothes, baby sit, sow, and make food; the typical household work you would expect. I did not receive the amount of education I needed so I did not even know how to write Korean. I taught my self how to write Korean and English after the was was over and I settled in after marrying your grandfather. I was so relieved. It was like a dream come true. The war was about three years but I remember it to be very long. But you need to know that even though the war ended it was hard to recover from the war. It took a very long time. I honestly think that if it wasn't for president Park Chung-Hee (박정희) then Korea would not have come this far.
 * INTERVIEW **
 * -Could you please state your name, present age, where you were born, and a short self introduction?**
 * -What was your age range during the Korean war and what was your status at the time?**
 * -How did the Korean war impact your family?**
 * -Do you remember how you might have felt during the war?**
 * -What were some of the things you were forced to do due to the Korean war?**
 * -What perspective did you hold against the war?**
 * -Did your family members influence you in any way to think 'bad' of the Red's?**
 * -What were your main concerns during the war?**
 * -If the war did not happen, then what do you think might be different now?**
 * -What was your education at this point like? In your opinion do you think you received the amount of education you needed and were you able to finish attending school?**
 * -What was it like (feelings, emotion, reaction) when you finally heard the war was over?**


 * ANALYSIS **

Honestly, I always felt so distant from war because I never experienced it or expect it to happen to me nor have I had a family member talk to me about it before. War is something that is not my concern and I only learned of war from indirect experience of watching movies/ T.V programs or learning about it from text books. I think this interview lets me understand the deeper cause and effect and the impact it has on people. I could feel the voice of my Grandmother shake when she talked about her family members and how they had to suffer because of the war. She constantly repeated how scared she was and how she hated her family being tortured mentally, physically, and spiritually. My mother also told me that my grandmother's family were the more luckier ones because they were able to flee and find jobs and keep the family intact since many people back then lost their families and died of famine or during battle. I always knew how my grandparents went through war but I never really had the time to ask about it because I had that mindset where I thought it wasn't that important because it is in the past and has nothing to do with me. I found out new things about my grandparents such as my Grandpa being a veteran in the 6.25 war and I felt proud to know that my Grandpa survived and served his country. I felt really queasy when my grandmother described how she had to dress like a man to avoid being raped and I could feel how she felt really uncomfortable telling me the descriptions; I felt so sorry that I had asked some of the questions where I could sense she was uncomfortable and becoming emotional. I don't think I can imagine what it would be like now if the war did not happen. Like my grandmother and my mother said, Korea might now be divided into two. However, I know that a nation cannot develop and be stable is there are two parties that are extremely different so even if there wasn't a war I think Korea would still have faced division of some sort. Now that I know how awful it must have been for my grandparents, In am glad that they were able to recover and be such great people. It must have been hard to forget about the past especially when it must have left so many wounds in the heart so I feel proud to know that they are my grandparents and that they went through all the hardship and are still staying strong. I am glad I was able to take time and talk to my grandma because I feel like we share something deeper now, but I also feel really sorry that I brought this up again because I worry that she will have flashbacks. It was unfortunate that she did not have any pictures from that time though.