Dec+23th,+1948

=Dec 23th, 1948=

I haven’t been looking at the diary for such a long time. The paper in the diary became yellow. All the dust in the world seemed to have came to this diary and landed on the surface.

I regret for not writing the diary daily. At first, I promised myself to write it every day, but I guess I am not a diary-type of man. Yesterday, I even prepared a place to read my past diary entries thoroughly, but all there was was only three! I should have written many. After the last entry I have experienced many happenings. It is just upsetting that I don’t remember everything.

Oh, one rememberable occurrence was a meeting of Mao Zedong. I have heard of Mao Zedong many times. He was a communist leader, who, back then, formed rivalries with Chiag Kai-Sek. Around 1943 Mao contacted me through one of my soldiers. He have recognized the reluctance of my soldiers in the battlefield. By that time I almost gave up with Asaka's barbaric actions so I've stopped training my soldiers with moral education. I guess my soldiers didn't forget my words. At first I accused Mao for spying me. Before I could think more, Mao talked to me about the cruelty of war. He seemed to dislike the cruelty like me. I was reluctant to share my feelings with him, but I couldn't help but talk to him at last because he sounded very sincere. Finally, I told Mao how I wasn't the promoter of the Nanking Massacre. I described my devastation after the massacre, how irresponsible I felt. Suddenly, Mao asked me to join his communist forces. I only remember being very surprised by this suggestion...I don't remember what exactly I said. I certainly said no. But there was more. Gosh, it has already been five years.

After the Nanking massacre, I gave a big, official warning to Chinese people. I told them if they don’t surrender, massacre and all the barbaric behaviors would continue. I made clear that, as a Japanese general, I didn’t want further death. After this I gathered up about 300 military leaders and soldiers to condemn those who committed barbaric murder in the Nanking massacre. But they didn’t listen to me at all. I knew why; they had a noble general at their back. What would they fear.

From then to now - yes, until now! - I never regarded the Japanese Army as a thoughtful nor a moral army. I even reported to  that the Japanese army is the most undisciplined army. Of course, I warned and condemned Asaka countless times, but unfortunately he didn’t listen.

I retired after the Nanking massacre, and went back to my home town. I built a sculpture that faced the direction of Nanking and concentrated on praying.

Yes. The time passed and I am prisoned in here. Where? In a prison! I am a prisoner meant to be hanged tomorrow morning. This is going to be my last diary entry...The last...

I was accused to promote the Nanking massacre. I finally broke the promise made between Abe and me. I am going to be memorized as an evil historical figure by Chinese people and as a traitor who embarrassed the nation by Japanese people. Either way, my name is going to be infamous in the world’s history.

Few days ago I was having a dull conversation with my fellow prisoners, and I could hear about Asaka. For some reason, he wasn’t accused of the Nanking massacre. The prisoners were making fuss saying that he is concentrating on golf and planning to establish a golf course with his name. I thought something was wrong.

It is already night. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I am going to be in front of many people, and there will be a rope around my neck. But Diary, I hope you remember this thing. I never tried to promote the Nanking massacre. I just wanted Japan and China to have good diplomatic relationship. Diary, you are the only one who listens me. Please...